Reckoning
by Akimbo And Askew
Summary: Rose had never stopped to think what would happen next. Now she's here, with him, and has no idea how it happened.


_A/N: I know this ground has been covered more times than I can count, but here's my go at it: a double character-study set post-JE._

* * *

**Chapter 1 **"School Night"

As the TARDIS blinked out of Pete's World for the final time, the Duplicate Doctor felt Rose crumble beside him. She had dropped the hand he'd tentatively placed in hers and was now kneeling in the sand.

"Why?" she whispered. With an anguished cry, she fell forward, hands clutching the sand. "Doctor! Why did you leave? Why do you always…leave me?"

The Duplicate wasn't sure of what he should say. Was that a question for him? For the Time Lord who had abandoned her again? Carefully, he knelt beside her and began to pull her toward him.

"Rose," he murmured. "Rose, I'm here. I'm right here."

She reared up and began to flail her fists at him, shrieking.

"Damn you! Damn you both! Why am I never enough? Why am I _never_ enough?"

Jackie turned toward the commotion and gasped.

"Pete, I need to go. I'll call you soon, love."

Snapping her phone shut, she raced toward her daughter and the Duplicate. She pulled Rose away from him, wrapping her in a strong hug.

"Rose, Rose, what's the matter?"

"I tore my way across time and space just to be with him and he just left me. Left me right back where I started!" she sobbed.

The Duplicate felt a sharp sting in his single heart.

_We never considered that. In all the ways we imagined this would play, we never once considered that._

Jackie rocked Rose gently, kissing the top of her head. She looked up at the Duplicate; he struggled to meet her gaze.

"Doctor, can you drive?"

He cocked his head, remembering.

"Yeah, I've driven a car—well, it was a hovercar. Well, a simulated hovercar. A simulated hovercar at an amusement park in the 32nd cent—"

"Never mind all that!" Jackie hissed, tossing him her keys. "Why don't you fetch the car. Give me and Rose a bit of time."

He nodded and began to walk away. It killed him to see Rose so inconsolable—and to know that there was nothing he could do. Despite the words he had whispered and the warm, promising kiss she'd given, it was clear that he was a cheap copy of the Time Lord she wanted.

_A sham of a facsimile_, he mused. _What can I give her anyway? He took the TARDIS, left me with scraps. Even with Donna's help, it would still take years to grow. And without a TARDIS, what would Rose want with him for all that time?_

_**Oi**_**! **cried another, much more human part of the Doctor's mind. _**Having a nice wallow? Enough with the self-pity. You're going to give Rose exactly what you always wanted: your heart, your life. Don't need a TARDIS for any of that. Now, you march right back over there and tell her what you're doing!**_

_Which is…?_

_**Fetching the car! Tell her that you'll come back.**_

_Aye-aye!_

_**And stop this nonsense; you've only got the one consciousness.**_

The Doctor turned on his heel and hurried back to Jackie and Rose. Gently, he patted Rose's shoulder to get her attention. She looked up, pain smoldering in her eyes.

"I'm going to get the car. I'll be right back, Rose."

She could only nod; Jackie swatted him away, rolling her eyes.

The Doctor found the jeep parked at the edge of the beach, battened against the elements. Gingerly, he pulled the cover back from the windshield and unlocked his door. As it turned out, the controls for the jeep were even simpler than the amusement simulation. Confidence renewed, he carefully brought the car around to Jackie and Rose.

Rose was standing now, still wrapped in her mother's arms. Wet sand trailed from her knees to her shoes and remained in smudges on her face. The sight of her blank, lifeless eyes chilled the Doctor's single heart.

_She looks…dead inside._

Even when he had burned up a sun to say goodbye, she had looked more lifelike. Wracked with grief and anguish, but at least then, he could tell that she was feeling _something_. Now she looked…empty.

Jackie helped Rose into the passenger side of the jeep before returning to the Doctor's window.

"All right, you, budge over. We're staying in Bergen tonight."

The Doctor slid closer to Rose as Jackie climbed inside and began heading for the single dirt road leading away from the bay.

Rose slumped against the window, watching the too-bright landscape rush past. The last time she had come this way, the sky had been greyer, sadder even. Today, the cheery sun made mockery of her sacrifice.

As Jackie pulled the jeep onto the main road, the Duplicate slid against her.

"Sorry," he mumbled, pulling back.

Rose felt guilt stabbing her heart.

_It's not his fault. None of this is his fault._

Turning from the window, she snaked her hand into his. He opened his mouth to say something, but seemed to think better of it. Instead, he brought her fingers to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss to her hand. Fingers entwined, he rested their clasped hands on his lap.

The three passed the hour to Bergen in near silence. As they approached the city, Jackie slowed the jeep and glanced at the Doctor and Rose.

"As far as I know, nobody knows about this trip. But if we run into any shutterbugs, the story is that we were camping. The Doctor is an old family friend we haven't seen in years. We all look so sad because he recently lost his family."

The Doctor looked at Rose, unspoken questions in his eyes.

"Paparazzi," she replied softly. "You happen to be travelling with the _Vitex_ Tylers."

"Like I said, though, honey," Jackie continued, "nobody should know that we're here."

Begen at supper-time proved to be like any other city but, after fighting the traffic and circling back once or twice, Jackie pulled up to a small, secluded-looking bed and breakfast. Grabbing a bag from the back of the jeep, she lead the dazed Doctor and Rose inside, checking the three into a suite.

Once inside, Rose lay down on one of the oversized beds and promptly fell asleep. Despite Jackie's best efforts, she couldn't rouse her daughter from her exhausted state.

"Poor thing probably needs the sleep, anyway," she shrugged. "Even so, I was hoping to run out to a shop, get some things for the night."

The Doctor nodded blankly.

"She'll need some jimjams and clothes for tomorrow—you, too. I've got enough shampoo and soap for the lot of us, but I'm sure you'll want something for that mop of yours. And Rose is so very particular."

"We could run out while she's sleeping."

"I don't want her to wake up alone. That's the last thing she needs."

The Doctor swallowed uncomfortably.

"I could try to wake her."

Jackie smiled ruefully.

"Best of luck with that."

Ignoring her smirk, the Doctor shook Rose gently. When, as before, she remained sound asleep, he kneeled beside her and whispered into her ear. Within a few moments, Rose opened her eyes and tried to focus on his face.

"Yeah?" she mumbled sleepily.

"Your mum and I were going to pop out to a shop and pick some things up for tonight and tomorrow. D'you want to come?"

"Nope," Rose said into her pillow.

"Well, we're heading out. Give a ring when you wake up," said Jackie.

"Mm-hmmm."

"Love you, sweetie."

"Y'too, Mum."

"Sleep well," the Doctor added, patting her on the shoulder.

With help from a thankfully benign ATMOS, Jackie managed to find a department store that was still open. Once inside, she headed straight for the women's department. The Doctor drifted behind her, feeling quite lost and hopelessly domestic. As Jackie selected a fresh pair of jeans and a pale pink jumper, the Doctor found himself wandering towards the sleep section. A pair of bright blue pajamas had caught his eye. He reached out, petting the silky top.

When Jackie caught up with him, she had to smile.

_Of course he found her pajamas to match his phonebox._

She snatched up some intimates for her daughter, tucking them beneath the other clothes in her arms.

"I don't think they make those jimjams in your size," she teased.

The Doctor jumped, snatching his hand away from the pajamas.

"No, I just thought…maybe Rose would like them."

Jackie smiled, trying to reassure him.

"I'm sure she would. Could you hand me a small set?"

He blushed as he handed her the pajamas.

"Now, Rose is all taken care of. Let's find something for you."

Jackie led the Doctor into menswear, where she informed him gravely that there was no time to find him a new suit. He stared at the clothing around him, suddenly overwhelmed by his choices.

"Are—are you sure I can't just pick up a suit? It doesn't have to fit."

"You're being ridiculous. D'you want me to pick something?"

The Doctor nodded.

With a smug smile, Jackie navigated the racks, eventually picking out a pair of grey pinstriped trousers and a black jumper.

"How's this?" she asked, holding them against a mannequin.

"Good," he replied. "Great, really."

"All right, then, go find yourself some socks and underthings."

The Doctor met Jackie at the cash register and thrust packages of socks and boxer-briefs onto the counter. Before she or the cashier could comment on his choices, he deftly "hid" them with a pair of pajama bottoms.

Jackie paid and piled the bags into the Doctor's unsuspecting arms. Feeling thoroughly humiliated, he chose to stay inside the jeep while Jackie ran into a pharmacy to furnish two new toilet kits. Once she returned, she eyed the clock.

"Hungry?"

"Famished."

"What should we bring back for Rose?" Jackie asked as she pulled away from the pharmacy.

"Chips," the Doctor replied quickly.

"All right," Jackie laughed. "I'll do my best with that."

Once her mother had left with the Duplicate, Rose found it much harder to fall asleep. Of course he'd woken her in Gallefreyan; the smooth, spinning words had roused her when nothing else would. Now her mind swirled with the few short phrases her Doctor had taught her.

_Hello, dear one._

_Wake for me._

_Tea?_

Tears streamed from her eyes as she remembered his gruff, north-ish voice teaching her these pleasantries; she recalled this face smiling and answering her simple questions. The intimacy of his language was never lost upon her.

And now this imposter spoke to her with _his _words.

_No, no. With his own words._

Rolling onto her back, Rose recalled the two of them standing on either side of her. She could feel her anger bubble up once more.

_How could he? How could he dare not to say it? How could he leave me here, with a copy, and never give me a choice?_

She began to sobbed into her fisted hands.

_But how could I choose? The copy said it—he didn't. The copy said he loved me. And they swear they are the same._

Rose pulled her knees against her chest and rocked back onto her side. No matter what could've said, what might have been, the Duplicate was here now. Permanently. Out shopping with her mother this very moment.

She'd been given a Doctor who would age and die and love her and live her ordinary life.

But who was not her Doctor.

_They knew I could never choose._

_But why couldn't he let me try?_

* * *

"but then what kind of scale

compares the weight of two beauties

the gravity of duties

or the ground speed of joy?

tell me what kind of gauge

can quantify elation?

what kind of equation

could i possibly employ?"


End file.
